The best and worst time

The philosophy I have about last things is based on the fact that life is finite. There are only so many things you can and will do.

Since it's finite, there is going to be a best and a worst time in your life.

I think for many people coming to terms with their mortality brings this fact into stark relief. It certainly did for me.

There is a real possibility I've gone through both of those times now. Those extremes might be entirely in my past.

This is okay and a part of life. It's not something to dwell on, but something to be aware of. To be grateful for those moments, days, months or whatever that you are content and at peace with yourself. To be mindful of when things are painful that this is what you're experiencing.

I've been considering this quite a bit over the past year or so. When my life draws to it's end, however that happens, there will be a time I can point to that I was subjectively happiest. I am not even sure I want to use the word happy there. It's not quite right. Most content with who I was and where I was in life, but that's not a single word.

Regardless, it might well have been during 2010.

This is not to say that there won't be other great times, joys, and victories. There will be those as well, I'm only 38.

On the other side of it though, there is a very real possibility that the worst thing that will happen in my life is also behind me. There isn't much that could top this period that I am currently in.

A critical injuries or illness in the next dozen years? Death or critical illness of one of my children?

For sure, but statistically speaking those are unlikely.

Even if I'm lucky enough to make a deep connection with another person at some point and then, through bad luck, have to go through this again? At that point, I'll know that I've gone through it before and came out the other side.

I don't know what the future will bring.